Dark web copywriting tips

Castration for $30,000 too expensive? How about a beating for just $2,000? These dark web screenshots belie the surprisingly beige truth about hiring a hitman from the dark web…

Dark web screenshot for a hitman website
Turns out dark web copywriters can be as bland as their clean web counterparts.

The New York Times recently featured two screenshots from hitman-for-hire websites on the dark net…

Naturally, I reviewed the copywriting in the screenshots and I was amazed.

These purported hitmen have dipped their pen in the same beige ink as most legit businesses.

Another dark web screenshot for a hitman website
This one is better — a little colour at least.

Their “assassination and life-ruining services” are made less persuasive by —

☠️ Feeble adjectives — “professional”, “experienced”, “convenient”

☠️ Assumption of knowledge — why is a blinding 10% pricier than a crippling?

☠️ All telling, no showing — “We try our best to keep to contractual terms”

I give both sites a C, but there are some glimmers of hope for their dark web copywriters —

💀 Attaching benefits to features — “We assign a strong man in the country of the mark. [Feature] No expensive flights… keep the price to the lowest possible. [Benefit]”

💀 Use of specificity as proof — “We have 48 hitmen on call” [Not “nearly 50”]

Overall, however, a surprisingly corporate experience. In fact, since this blog post was published, I know that dark web entrepreneurs hire web copywriters. Because I’ve been approached.

But here’s the million dollar question… Would you pay the extra $2,000 to upgrade your mortal enemy to a “painless” poisoning? Also…

Want to write a landing page so good it feels like stealing candy from babies?

INVEST IN CONVERSIONS


Landing page copywriting course

Landing Page Copywriting Course

Even the warmest leads will turn to ice if your landing page doesn't say what they need to hear. In this course, you'll learn the formula behind landing pages that CONVERT.

LEARN MORE



Want more conversions for yourself?

We send out conversion tips to a hot list twice a week. To get your share of immediately actionable tips, all you have to do is tell us you want them:

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.